Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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