we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
