I'm gonna have a badass scar
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize