it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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