Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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