You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
