So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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