my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
