I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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