Its about making memories worth repressing
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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