I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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