I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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