what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
