I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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