hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
NoShamevember. You game?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
