Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
