I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
