i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize