when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
