hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
