I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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