Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
