using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
