I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
