The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's blow job season.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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