please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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