Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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