dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So vagazzling was a success
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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