you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
