My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize