you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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