Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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