why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
