Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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