Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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