I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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