my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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