i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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