3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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