U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
