I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
