found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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