just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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