I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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