remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize