ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just google imaged poop.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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