So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
