I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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