haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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