Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
