we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
