..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
