I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Randomize
