Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
