she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
