I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize